I also suspect that there are MANY MANY successful sexless or nearly sexless marriages, but we don’t hear about them because they’re coded as normative. Folx in those relationships don’t really talk about this because this type of relationship is still shamed and assumed broken because of compulsory sexuality and allonormativity. One thing that happened when I started coming out as ace, was a surprising amount of friends both married and not, were sparked with introspection once they understood my experience, not just the definition of asexuality. Several married friends mentioned that their relationships didn’t really involve much sex, but they were happy. They just didn’t talk about it for the obvious reasons.
I'm apothisexual also, and resonate with M. There are asexual groups online, and I belong to a local monthly gathering online through the Bradbury-Sullivan LGBTQA+ Community Center in Allentown, PA. It's called "A Space for Aces" and anyone asexual anywhere can join us at 7pm on the 3rd Wed of every month https://www.bradburysullivancenter.org Some of those I see online have romance w/o sex and are extremely happy. It's good to talk with them and find out how they met. I haven't connected with anyone yet as far as romance is concerned but there is always hope! C
Even if you aren't sx favorable, you aren't doomed to be alone or anything (not that it's actually a doom, anyway, not everyone wants a partner & that's cool, too.) We aces just usually have a more difficult time finding a good partner. (good being a ymmv sort of term of course. My sweetheart has a voice that makes my demi heart swoon, even after 30 years, but perhaps you don't feel that way about lyrical tenors)
I also suspect that there are MANY MANY successful sexless or nearly sexless marriages, but we don’t hear about them because they’re coded as normative. Folx in those relationships don’t really talk about this because this type of relationship is still shamed and assumed broken because of compulsory sexuality and allonormativity. One thing that happened when I started coming out as ace, was a surprising amount of friends both married and not, were sparked with introspection once they understood my experience, not just the definition of asexuality. Several married friends mentioned that their relationships didn’t really involve much sex, but they were happy. They just didn’t talk about it for the obvious reasons.
I'm apothisexual also, and resonate with M. There are asexual groups online, and I belong to a local monthly gathering online through the Bradbury-Sullivan LGBTQA+ Community Center in Allentown, PA. It's called "A Space for Aces" and anyone asexual anywhere can join us at 7pm on the 3rd Wed of every month https://www.bradburysullivancenter.org Some of those I see online have romance w/o sex and are extremely happy. It's good to talk with them and find out how they met. I haven't connected with anyone yet as far as romance is concerned but there is always hope! C
Even if you aren't sx favorable, you aren't doomed to be alone or anything (not that it's actually a doom, anyway, not everyone wants a partner & that's cool, too.) We aces just usually have a more difficult time finding a good partner. (good being a ymmv sort of term of course. My sweetheart has a voice that makes my demi heart swoon, even after 30 years, but perhaps you don't feel that way about lyrical tenors)